Hello loves. So today, I'm responding to a question that was left in the comments section of my last Instagram post, where I touched on the topic of setting boundaries with others. Obviously, a 60-second video is nowhere near enough time to discuss all the nuances and complexities of this topic so I will venture to do a slightly better job today.
So, someone isn't treating us or responding to us in the way we'd like and we've tried everything including:
Tolerating it. It's not ideal and certainly no the best for our psychological and emotional well-being but most of us start here, because well, it's often seen as the "safest" route.
Repairing. We've been vulnerable, shared our feeling (preferably using nonviolent communication), and articulated our needs/boundaries for the relationship moving forward, so as to create a healthier, safer dynamic for both parties.
Walk away. While most of us would love to have this as an option, and some have even executed it with success, it's just not favorable or realistic in some cases.
So back to the original question... what do we do if none of this is working?
Feel it.
It's time loves. we cannot begin to heal these dysfunctions from a disembodied body. And that requires us feeling what is happening when it is happening. Not an hour and a half later when we're on our way home. Distance or isolate yourself if need be but fucking feel, without distraction or external validation.
The more we embrace our feeling, the more we become present in our bodies and attuned to what we need in any given moment. If we choose to respond to these needs with self-care, self-nurturing, self-protection, we begin to built trust with ourselves, establishing a level of inner security.
It is from this place of great inner security that real monumental shifts occur. When we consistently show up for ourselves, we become less bothered by those who don't or can't do the same. We are fulfilling our own needs of being seen, heard, and validated.
With more and more hyper-presence comes more and more inner security, creating quite an empowered state of being, enabling us to respond (rather than react) to any unfavorable or abusive behavior with accurate perception and acute precision. Additionally, we move into a state of peace and acceptance.
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