hello beautiful soul.
today, i want to share a profound chapter of my life's journey — a path marked by the transformative power of Tantra and Tantric self-pleasure, as it pertains specifically to overcoming sexual trauma. and while i acknowledge that my initial post about this topic may inadvertently perpetuate a connection to sexuality when discussing Tantra - for me, it has played a crucial role as a powerful healer and it would be inauthentic to present it in any other way. but for the sake of Cosmic balance (and to prevent any "negative" karma, haha!), i'll be sure to do my best in expanding on its multi-facetedness to the best of my ability within this post! so grab some tea and cozy up buttercup! this is going to be a bit of a long one!
first, let me begin by demystifying Tantra a bit. Tantra is a diverse and ancient spiritual tradition that originated in South Asia, with roots in Hinduism and Buddhism. the word "Tantra" is derived from Sanskrit, and can be translated to mean "weave" or "loom." it encompasses a wide range of practices, beliefs, and rituals, and its understanding can vary across different traditions and cultures. but at its core, Tantra is all about transformation — an inward journey that involves peeling back and integrating the layers of our existence.
key aspects of Tantra include:
- holistic approach: Tantra is often characterized by its holistic approach to spirituality, embracing various aspects of life, including the physical, emotional, and spiritual. it seeks to integrate and harmonize these aspects rather than viewing them as separate.
- sacred texts: there are numerous tantric texts, known as "Tantras," that provide guidance on ritual, meditation, and philosophy. these texts are often written in a symbolic and allegorical language, and their interpretation requires a deep understanding of the context.
- rituals and practices: Tantra incorporates a wide range of rituals and practices, including meditation, mantra chanting, breath control (pranayama), visualization, and sacred ceremonies. these practices are designed to expand consciousness, cultivate awareness, and connect with the Divine.
- deity worship: Tantric traditions often involve the worship of deities, with an understanding that the divine can manifest in various forms. practitioners may engage in rituals and ceremonies to invoke and connect with specific deities or Cosmic forces.
- yoga and Kundalini: Tantra and yoga are interconnected, with both traditions emphasizing the awakening of spiritual energy. Kundalini, often represented as a coiled serpent at the base of the spine, is believed to be a dormant energy that, when awakened, ascends through the energy centers (chakras) along the spine, leading to spiritual enlightenment.
- sacred sexuality: one aspect of Tantra that has gained attention is its approach to sacred sexuality. some tantric traditions incorporate rituals that involve intimate connection between partners as a means of transcending the dualities of the physical and spiritual realms.
*it's important to note that Tantra is a complex and multifaceted tradition, and its practices and interpretations can vary widely. in recent times, there has been a popularization of certain aspects of Tantra, particularly those related to sacred sexuality, which has sometimes led to misconceptions. authentic understanding of Tantra requires careful study and guidance from knowledgeable practitioners or teachers 😉😉
so to summarize, Tantra simply weaves a tapestry of the above, inviting us to explore and integrate all aspects of our being — the light and the dark — in the pursuit of spiritual growth and self-discovery. and yes, naturally, this includes the exploration of sex and sexuality, acknowledging them as integral parts of our holistic existence.
i was first formally introduced to Tantra in 2011, after going to my first Kundalini yoga class via Gabbi Bernstein's "Ego Eradicator", haha! i remember walking out feeling incredible!! (even now, that word doesn't do it justice!) i experienced one crazy shift after another and found myself trying to get my hands on as much free information as i could about the subject! i began practicing Kundalini yoga on my own, which then led to injecting mindfulness and other Tantric practices into every aspect of my life, including intimacy and sex.
my partner and i began making subtle adjustments in our approach, prioritizing slowing down, creating space to awaken sensuality, linking our breath and disconnecting from the notion of orgasm as the ultimate goal. this shift became a profound portal through which i would begin to connect with my body — truly, in a way i had never done before.
however, despite the excitement and novelty of these practices, i still felt the residue of what was imprinted upon me as a child... of a traumatic sexual experience, and of course all of the unconscious ways i attempted to cope and soothe afterwards. unbeknownst to me at the time, (because truthfully i didn't think there'd ever be a day that i'd live without that energy), Tantra was the healing balm i needed. it was simply a matter of time and a small adjustment to my approach.
well, both arrived. again unbeknownst to me. several years later, finding myself single (but nowhere near ready to mingle, haha!) for the first time in my adult life, i turned to self-pleasure, and slowly began using Tantric techniques within it. initially driven by necessity and curiosity rather than a conscious intention to heal, this solitary exploration became a purging process.
through conscious breathing and intentional touch, i began to connect with the subtle energies within my body, feeling safe to release held tension and actually "be" with myself. and then gradually, the dam began to break. tears flowed nearly every time for about nine months, releasing the grief, shame, and guilt that had been trapped within me for years. a part of myself was dying and as hard as it was at times to hold space for that little girl, i stayed. i didn't budge. i didn't flinch. i didn't run. i stayed.
and eventually, as with everything, it all transmuted, paving the way for prolonged periods of ecstasy and bliss, infused with rolling hills of laughter and joy. (yes, Tantric orgasms can bring laughter! LOTS of laughter!)
it was within this space, the journey of dying and becoming that i began to see God, hear God, feel God. clearly and abundantly. and as my connection expanded, i began to experience... KNOW God's love for me. my womb awakened. my pleasure deepened. my feminine essence slowly started to dance. and i began to revere the resilient, beautiful being i am.
in the spring of 2020, as everything was coming to a halt within the world, i was at a cervical orgasm-level high in my life, haha! i decided to deepen my knowledge and experience of Tantra and conscious partnership by enrolling in Nadine Lee's Temple of the Womb and Juliet Allen's Pleasure School. and while both programs were absolutely amazing and have heavily contributed to my own practice and comprehension, i cannot express enough how eternally grateful i am of my own journey. to have had Tantra find me the way it did is a true blessing. one that allowed me to authentically appreciate and connect with it. without need. without purpose. without expectation. simply as a genuine, curious witness to its power.
clearly. as here i am three years later, launching Wild Woman Wellness Online 😘
so, to those of you who may be on a similar journey, seeking ecstatic empowerment, i encourage you to explore the gentle realms of Tantric self-pleasure. allow it to be a guide, a healing balm for the wounds of the past, and a celebration of your Divine essence. and i pray that you find the courage to embrace your own journey, reclaim your sacred spaces, and dance in the radiant light of true self-love. the universe within you is waiting to be discovered — breathe, explore, and celebrate the beautiful soul that is uniquely, wonderfully, and authentically yours. 🌸💫
and as i continue the path of practicing and teaching Tantra, my heart is open to those ready to explore the sacred realms within a loving container. feel free to click the button below to learn more about any of my offerings.
thank you for receiving my story.
💖
2 Comments
Oct 18, 2024, 9:50:00 AM
Kimberly Dam - Wow Matt, thank you so much for contributing to this conversation! I feel truly honored that you felt inspired (and safe) to share some of your own personal experience and offer reflections on this topic. I look forward to learning more and exploring how I can potentially be of service to you along your journey in the near future! (An email has been sent to your inbox!)
Oct 17, 2024, 10:46:48 PM
Matt Williams - Hi Kim, My name is Matt and I am a 36-year old male living here in Wilmington. I found you online after doing some research on shamanism and tantric healing (or tantric arts) in hopes of learning and addressing some continued imbalance in my life. I have been on a holistic journey for several months now after experiencing some prolonged stress from my job and home life, which impacted my quality of life and relationship. With the continued stress, I developed physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, and low energy, which impacted my daily life and ability to connect intimately with others. Through this experience, I began to feel that there was also spiritual imbalance in my life, and the desire to truly connect with myself and my surroundings. I’ve always been interested in connecting with the Divine in an intimate way, and learning how to self please as you describe. In my personal life, I tend to keep these thoughts private but after reading your website I felt comfortable enough to share. I’d be interested in learning more about your offerings and ways to address my personal situation in a long lasting way. I look forward to your response. Kindest regards, Matt